Catch Me If You Can
by Arcane Assassin
Summary: The problem with falling for an ideal is that, well, you don't always know what you're getting yourself into.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is going to be my second attempt at an extended fic, and I wanted to try an add something a little different to the existing f!shepXmiri fandom, but I guess we'll just see how it goes. The first chapter is only short, but they should get longer... I think... anyways, enjoy!**

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A survivor.

A hero.

A child with the wisdom of someone far advanced in her years. Commander Shepard was the youngest person ever to be raised to her rank within the Alliance Navy.

She was seven years old when the Batarian slavers slaughtered her family, her friends, and the entire colony on Mindoir. Yet she survived with nothing more than a broken heart of a memory she no longer had.

A survivor.

She was sixteen, a child prodigy, when she was recruited by the Alliance, she hadn't even finished high school, but her scores placed her well within the 'gifted' range, her IQ off the charts, registering at over 200.

Her first Tour of Duty had her in over her head, her commanding officer had been killed, with overwhelming odds stacked against her, the charismatic youth managed to rally the remainder of her squad and defeat the Batarian's in their attack on Elysium. She was only eighteen at the time. They called her a hero, gave her a medal; she was promoted to First Lieutenant a month later.

A hero.

Eight Tours, and no less than twelve commendations later, four of which were from the Alliance Brass, she was promoted to Commander at just twenty years of age.

She was twenty-three when she became the first human Spectre and assumed control of the Normandy, at least two years younger than the youngest member of her crew, but already a well-respected, and slightly feared, figure in the Alliance military.

She was the saviour of the Citadel, and the Council, the slayer of Saren and Sovereign, at the peak of her life and military acclamation, only to have it all taken away at just twenty-four.

K.I.A.

Killed in action.

It was such a waste.

A brilliant life cut short in the most tragic of fashions.

And there was still so much more to do.

The Illusive Man looked up at the earnest and determined woman before him, or at least the hologram of her.

Tapping the intercom beside him, he dashed the ash from the end of his cigarette, "Miss Lawson, it's time to commence the Lazarus Project."

Yes, it was not quite time for Tiger Shepard to pass from this world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just to clarify, there's a bit of a time skip between the last chapter and this one, i hope its not too confusing, but if you think it is, i may write another chapter to fill in the gaps... anyways, enjoy!**

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"What?" Came the startled cry, emphasised by the fierce waving of hands, "no, no, no, no, no. I refuse."

The Illusive Man took a long drag, before, in a very deliberate manner, exhaling a lung-full of smoke, temporarily obscuring Shepard's view of him.

"I'm afraid, Commander Shepard, you don't have any real say in the matter." He drawled, eerie eyes penetrating the smoke long before the rest of him came back into focus.

"Like hell I don't – they're my squad, I get to pick who comes with me for which mission, I get to pick who is most suited the task, not you, me!" Shepard shouted back, heterochromatic eyes flashing dangerously at the sheer arrogance of the man before her.

But before she could even finish her tirade, he was already shaking his head, denying her wish, "You will be taking Miss Lawson on ALL of your missions from here on out; your actions on Horizon proved that you need someone to keep an eye on you."

"Bull shit." She snapped back, "I don't need a baby-sitter; I am fully capable of making my own decisions about how to deal-"

"Shepard, you seem to forget that you owe Cerberus your life – without us you would already be in the hands of the Collectors." He took another drag, either to let that truth sit in the air a little longer or simply to annoy Tiger, she couldn't tell, but she didn't like that smirk that had settled onto his face since he had dropped the bombshell that Miranda was to be a permanent fixture on her squad.

"The Collector threat must be dealt with, you of all people know that better than anyone, all I want is to make sure you have adequate guidance that will allow you to-"

Shepard threw up her hands in disgust, "Fine, I get it. I'll bring her, happy?" Turning her back on hologram before her, she stormed out of the comm. room only to walk straight into the waiting arms of none other than Miranda Lawson.

"Commander," Came the curt greeting.

Shepard scowled at the object of all her discomfort, bushing past her rather unceremoniously on her way back to the CIC, where she hoped the other redhead on board would be able to provide her with a much needed pick-me-up; she could use a friendly face after all that.


	3. Chapter 3

"What?" Miranda asked, a frown distorting her face, unknowingly imitating the response of her charge just moments ago when she too, had been informed of this new arrangement.

"Miranda," the Illusive Man started, "You are one of my most trusted, and talented officers, I don't believe that you should encounter any situation where you will not be of use; just make sure that the Commander realises that you are the most practical choice."

"I understand, but that's not the only reason you called me here, is it?" She replied, all too familiar with the way the Illusive Man operated.

"No, it's not." He acquiesced, pausing momentarily to empty his glass, "There's something I need you to do other than keep an eye on Shepard…"

"I'm listening."

TIM paused again, taking in the defensive posture of his most loyal employee, the raised eyebrow betraying her interest.

"I need you to seduce the Commander."

Miranda just stared at the man before her, jaw clenching fractionally, brow contracting as she tried to digest what she had just been told.

"I don't understand," shaking her head as if to further emphasise her confusion, "isn't that why Jacob was made a member of the crew, to replace Kaidan?"

The Illusive Man shrugged, "it would seem that our previous assumptions, including the reports by members of Shepard's last crew concerning her interests, may not have been entirely accurate."

"What do you mean not 'entirely accurate'? Joker seemed pretty convinced that Kaidan was Shepard's love interest on the Normandy, not to mention the other crewmen who spent their time in the Mess stated that there was something between them."

"That's beside the point," He continued, lighting a fresh cigarette, "I need Shepard to trust Cerberus, I need her to trust you."

"And you think that sleeping with her will earn her trust?" Disbelief colouring her tone - clearly unimpressed with where this was going.

"Miranda, if you don't think that you can do this then I will be forced to ask Jacob for his cooperation, and I think we both know that he is unsuited to this sort of… request."

"So it's a request and not an order then?" Miranda countered, hand moving down to rest on her hip, the slight curve of her mouth indicating that the challenge in the Illusive Man's tone had not gone unnoticed.

"I need this to work, for the betterment of Humanity we need Shepard to trust Cerberus, even if it is only for the duration of the mission; the real question is do you think you can handle it?"

"A one night thing? Sure, just get Shepard drunk enough and she'll sleep with anyone… however, anything involving… feelings, would be more complicated… we don't exactly see eye to eye as it is; she respects me, which I suppose is mutual, but… I'll need time if it's going to be convincing."

"Good." He nodded, exhaling slowly, a foggy haze partially obscuring his expression, "just get to work quickly."

Waiting until the hologram had disappeared completely, Miranda stepped away from the communication channel, calling out to EDI as she did.

"EDI, I need you to gather whatever information you can about Shepard's past relationships, including those during her time in N-7 training, the Alliance academy, pre-service and on the SR-1 Normandy."

"Right away, Ms Lawson."

"This should be fun…" She mused quietly, wondering how in hell she was going to do this before they had to pass through the Omega-4 relay.


	4. Chapter 4

**So... this is really, really, long - like 3 times as long as the other chapters... but i couldn't find the right moment to _stop_ any earlier *sigh* why do i do these things to myself... anyways, i hope it's an improvement from the previous woeful chapters, enjoy!**

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Something had been different lately.

Frowning, Shepard tried to put her finger on what exactly it was that just seemed so out of place. Seated cross-legged on the floor of her cabin, hands resting in her lap, she practiced those deep breathing exercises that Dr Chakwas was insisting she partake of.

Normally they were able to settle her, clear her mind of unnecessary thoughts, refocus her on the mission, often more satisfying than any attempt at sleep; yet today Shepard found herself unable to empty her mind, to fully enter into a meditative state without some niggling concern about a feeling of something being out of place dragging her from her reprieve.

So there she sat, back straight, shoulders relaxed, her breathing even and focused, yet her mind refused to cooperate. Growling to herself, she clenched her eyes tighter, almost as if she could squeeze the unwanted mental activity from her mind.

Focusing solely on her breathing, Shepard managed to foster some sense of calm, tuning out from everything, and slowly, that niggling doubt began to fade.

Just in.

And out.

An emptiness consumed her, all colour, all words, thoughts, meaningless sensations, all being driven from her mind; just slow, steady breaths.

Just in.

And out.

Lost as she was in the whiteness of her mind, the ongoing pattern of her breathing, she was totally oblivious to the subtle whir of the elevator as it stopped at her floor, ignorant of the shallow clacking of heels on the steel floor.

Just in.

And out.

_Hiss_

"Shepard-"

And just like that her illusion of peace shattered.

"Lawson."

Miranda seemed shocked to find the Commander seated on the floor, obviously in the middle of some form of meditation, eyes firmly closed with the tense outline of her jaw effortlessly conveying her displeasure at being disturbed.

"I can come back later if you're busy right now." The Cerberus agent offered from her position atop the stairs, clearly conveying her discomfort at the present situation.

"Please do." Came the terse reply, the Commander's eyes still having refused to open.

Nodding to herself, the XO began to move back the way she had come, gingerly fingering the datapad in her hands - the hiss of the automated doors grating on Shepard's already frayed nerves.

"Wait."

Miranda paused on the landing in front of the elevator, surprised at the Commander's voice beckoning her back into the room. She hesitated just inside the doorway, the top of Shepard's head barely visible from where she was standing, yet she could tell that the Commander hadn't moved from her position on the floor.

Sighing to herself, Shepard had finally placed her sense of unease.

_Miranda._

Since the Illusive Man's order to keep her around like a second shadow, something had changed between them; it was a subtle change of course, they still fought like cats in a bag, worked in perfect harmony on the battlefield, yet something had definitely changed about the Cerberus loyalist, and now seemed as good a time as any to see if she couldn't place the change exactly.

Still refusing to open her eyes, Shepard gestured to the chair next to her bed, indicating for the operative to take a seat.

Raising a single delicate eyebrow at the presumptuous action, Miranda decided it would be best to humour the Commander, making sure to put a little more swing into her step as she brushed past the seated marine before settling where she had been bid. The extra effort had been a waste it seemed, causing the Cerberus loyalist to frown at the immobile figure.

'_Seduce her' he said, 'get her to trust you' he said, 'challenge accepted' I said – why do I do these things to myself? Bloody pride…_

Gathering her thoughts, preferably away from the apparent impossibility of the Illusive Man's other task; she opened her mouth to speak only to be cut off before she could get a word out.

"What can I do for you?" The Commander had resettled into her original position, once again the picture of serenity.

Unperturbed by the Commander's apparent indifference, Miranda assumed what she considered to be a provocative pose with enough professionalism to not come across as being too forward, provided of course, that the Commander decided to open her eyes at any point during the meeting.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She replied, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of the stoic woman.

The coy lilt in her voice did not go unnoticed, with the slight twitch of Shepard's lips indicating some form of amusement at its inclusion.

"You could, but as your commanding officer, I think my inquiry supersedes yours." The playful tone caught Miranda off guard – but she'd be damned if she let Shepard know that, instead she smiled, briefly, for her own amusement apparently as Shepard still found the inside of her eyelids more fascinating than the genetically tailored beauty before her.

"Touché," She murmured, deliberately lowering her voice to a sultry tone in a pathetic attempt garner Shepard's attention. It didn't work.

Obviously.

Miranda found it impossible to believe that the indomitable Commander had remained chaste for the entirety of her life; EDI's search of Alliance, Cerberus, and Colonial databases, interviews and statements had turned up nothing – even her own search for such information in the two years she spent piecing the Commander back together hadn't uncovered anything of note; aside from a visit to the Consort (for business apparently) and a few whispers from lower servicemen, there was no hint of Shepard ever entering into an emotional, or physical, entanglement with anyone.

So, all things considered, being the veritable sex on legs that she was, getting Shepard to fall for her should be relatively easy.

But of course, nothing was easy when it came to dealing with Commander Shepard; in fact, the woman went out of her way to do _everything_ the hard way, almost as if it was her personal mission to trample through every single hook briar bush she could find simply for kicks.

Suffice it to say, Miranda remained unamused.

_Straight to business then, _she mused,her attempt at foreplay having failed dismally.

"It's about your reports, Shepard, you now have 17 overdue and-" the Commander's almost imperceptible sigh of irritation caused the Operative's eyes to narrow, and resisting the urge to snap at her CO (a kick to her pretty face wouldn't go amiss at this point either), Miranda tried to inflect some of her earlier coyness back into her tone, "if you're struggling with the workload, all you have to do is let me know, I would be more than… happy… to help you out."

Hoping her last statement didn't come across as being too forced (or desperate for that matter); she tried to remove all evidence of the grimace that had graced her features at the thought of doubling her workload due to the Commander's terminal laziness.

Again, aside from the slight twitch of Shepard's lips, she gave no indication of paying any attention to what her XO had just said, let alone providing any hint that she even noticed Miranda's rather poor attempt at flirting with her.

"Have you ever actually been to Australia?"

Miranda blinked at the sudden change in conversation.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Australia." Shepard repeated, "Have you ever actually been there?"

"Why does it matter?" She asked, thoroughly confused by the Commander's sudden interest.

The Commander shrugged, "Just curious, I guess."

Miranda was tempted to remind her CO that it was none of her damned business, but given the Illusive Man's directives to capture Shepard's attention, she didn't think antagonizing the Commander would help her case.

"I did… live there for a time…" It wouldn't hurt to tell her a little about her past, it may even help to get the Commander to see her as something more than simply the Illusive Man's lackey.

"Huh," Was the Commander's only response.

_Why that bloody little…!_

It took everything Miranda had not to growl at Shepard's apparent indifference.

_If she didn't actually care about the answer then why the hell did she ask?!_

Instead she plastered a sickly sweet smile on her face (for her own benefit once more), "Will there be anything else, Commander?"

"Not at the moment." She dismissed her irked XO with a single wave of her hand, not even bothering to properly acknowledge the woman's presence.

Gritting her teeth, Miranda stood, resisting the urge to kick the Commander (accidentally of course) as she passed the seated form, "Of course, Commander."

_I'm going to kill that little pest!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Ahem... 'tis a little short this time, considering how long you have been waiting for it, but I hope, in some parallel universe, that it was worth the wait. Enjoy.**

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With the hiss of the automated doors sliding shut indicating that she was once again alone, Shepard released a pent up breath that she didn't even realise she had been holding. The strict rigidity of forced composure she had maintained throughout the entire meeting failed her, leaving her feeling drained, flopping down on the hard ground, spread-eagle, a few key phrases running on an endless loop in her head.

"Well, that was about a useful as tits on a Hanar..." musing to no one in particular, the fallen Commander turned her head to regard the multitude of coloured fish floating past, all to oblivious to her predicament.

Returning her gaze to the ceiling, she reasoned that it hadn't been a complete waste of time, "At least I know where she got the accent..."

...

Fuming in her office, Miranda harshly tapped out a progress report to the Illusive Man, irked that she didn't have anything more substantial than Shepard summoning her back into her quarters after rather rudely dismissing her right away... that and her apparent inability to successfully flirt with her project of 2 years...

Rereading the report, the Cerberus operative managed to concede that any progress was still that, progress; and, given the animosity between them, the fact that she had been invited back in was a significant step forward from the flared tempers and biotic throws that their working relationship had previously largely consisted of.

And yet, there was a niggling concern about the Commander's rather personal question; she had an accent, but then so did Shepard, granted she couldn't quite place its origin, most likely that had something to do with growing up on a colony world, but she didn't interrogate the Commander about her past... though that might have something to do with the fact that she already knew most of it.

In fact, Miranda probably knew more about her than Shepard herself did; was that intimidating? Probably, but then, who didn't know more about the great Commander Shepard than she did these days?

Brushing aside such idle thoughts, the Cerberus operative turned back to the report she was meant to be writing; there was the temptation to embellish some minor details, nothing major, just something to paint her in a more favourable light, and it wasn't as if the camera's in Shepard's room were operational any longer, the Commander had been quick to solicit Mordin's help to remove the unwanted devices shortly after she discovered their existence.

Closing the document, Miranda decided that perhaps it would be more prudent to withhold her report on the situation for now, it wasn't as if she had made any real progress, and TIM hadn't demanded an update after every single conversation. She wasn't doing anything wrong. Not really.

Growling under her breath, the Normandy's XO realised she would really have to up her game if this was to go anywhere - she couldn't rely on Shepard to come to the party, not without some serious pushing on her part. But first things first, she needed to check on her sister; she'd be damned if her insistence on completing this task prevented her from protecting Orianna.


End file.
